So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
