and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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