I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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