): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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