Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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