Screwed.edu
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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