I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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