No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
