Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
