YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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