I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i think my cat just said my name.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
