i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
