is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
