What did we do last night that was yellow?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
