I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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