What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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