Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
