Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
