Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
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