Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
