I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Congratulations! We have a period
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