I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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