In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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