how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
