I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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