do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she peed on how many people?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
