If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
