But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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