is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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