I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
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