Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
