I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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