I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I stole a fireplace last night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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