I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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