So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
