He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
