"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
