hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am spending my child support on dildos
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
