I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
