I just cut my nipple shaving
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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