Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
