I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
my being single is dangerous.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Damn victory sex feels great
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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