that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
