Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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