she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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