Is it normal to miss your booty call?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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