K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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