Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just want to make out with him forever
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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