Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
