laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
