from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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