ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
