Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
